Whirlwind

So this blogging thing has not worked out as well as I'd hope. Lots of places to go to and people to see and things to enjoy and not enough time to capture them all in a blog. I even tried writing them on journal that way I won't need to wait for access to internet but even that's not working. By the time I sit down and try to put to words the adventures of the day, I'm dead tired and end up falling asleep as I write! I'll keep trying to put down what I can but I guess most of it will just need to wait until I get back =)

HVC - Very Quick Update

Hi! I'm back to the world of internet! For just a few minutes! ... Lol. So very, very quick update. Volunteering's been amazing, bringing tears to my eyes and softening my heart. I definitely want to spend a month here at the Laguna center and help out the children who've been abused physically and sexually as well as the local kids here. Been meeting great people and having deep fellowship. Barely resting but then I still see the HOPE staff working even more than me so it's very convicting! K, off to get ready for a cooking lesson for quesadilla and a devotional with the kids!

A Turn on the Road?

So there seems to be a weird development unfolding.....

Yesterday several things happened:

1) At work, we had a team meeting and there was talk of an extension of the contract for everyone. Of course, my contract is already ending this month at my request so that I can go in this voyage. But the manager made a comment how if they haven't found anyone by November when I get back from all my travels that they'll hire me. But the interesting little side comment was that if my vacation should ever get cut short that I'll have a job there....

2) I go home to continue my packing and my landlord is there showing the upstairs apartment to someone. He made a comment of how maybe an arrangement could be made so that Brooke could stay at the apartment while I'm doing my travels since we've been such great tenants. I mentioned how my part of the rent would be a lot bigger and wouldn't be able to pay it and he said he'll think about it and see if something could be worked out. Interestingly, this was my initial prayer about the household situation. That Brooke would still be able to stay at the apartment and not pay more than what she needs to....of course situations have changed since that prayer and a lot of things unknown but maybe I need to listen to an answered prayer....let's see what arrangement our landlord offers....(although hopefully he'll offer it before I finish packing so that I don't pack for nothing!)

3) My travel buddy for DR wasn't able to get the vacation time since it's a busy time for her job. Of course I'm already nervous as it is to go to DR and practice my Spanish. I don't know how effective I would be to share my faith over there if I'm hesitant! But hey, maybe it's just fear that needs to be driven away by perfect love from God! =)

But if I don't go to DR then I could technically stay in the apartment (if that ends up to be the decision) and maybe my job would be ok with me being there for 3 weeks in September and then away for a month and then back again for good....hmmm.....but then that would throw out the other option that I was considering, which I was really looking forward to.....

Well, let's see if this turn on the road is the path for me to take or if God will redirect me back to the original plan =)

Exhausted!!!

I'm absolutely exhausted! I was up til 3am last night packing and I've only done my books & papers!! Still so many more to go! Woke up late but grateful for a job & a manager that's merciful to my circumstances =) Why am I packing? I don't know if I've told you yet but I'm moving out the end of the month. So in about a week from now, I will be jobless and homeless....hmmmm.....and yet I'm happy about it =)

I've decided to move out since I saw it as a waste of money to pay 3 months rent when I'm not even living there! I tried so hard to find someone to sublet the place, seeing as how I have an awesome roommate and would hate to have to break up the household! =( But unfortunately that just didn't work out. So now I'm packing my things and giving away my furniture (the storage alone would pay for a whole new ikea living room set so why hold on to old stuff?!). Plus the future is so unknown to me now. For all I know I could love Philippines, Cambodia, Europe or anywhere else and stay there =) I doubt that'll happen but there's always that possibility, slim as it may be! =)

Let's see...what else is going on?! I've gotten connected with the head of hospital in Cambodia and he's setting me up with a place to stay while I'm there, so I'll be safe and sound and save money too! =)

I'm collecting items for children (clothes, books, arts & crafts, toys, etc) for the HOPE orphanages in Philippines and have gotten an overwhelming response from people from the Bronx church so I think we might be able to bring 2 boxes for them!

Plans for the ISC is coming along and I've already got a date with a native Filipino brother! =)

Besides the hecticness (is that a word?!) of packing, what makes it so hard is that I have to separate out the things I need for Philippines & Asia, the things for DR, the things for Europe & the cruise, all ahead of time now, cuz there's no way I'll be able to find anything once it's all on my brother's basement!

Plus there's life in general before the big voyage...Work is going well and I'm getting my stuff fairly done (6 more working days left!!!). I have to remember to give my measurements for my bridesmaid dress to Debbie...(I really hope I don't forget that!). Have some random planning and errands to do and finish off and I will no longer be taking on anything more, thank you very much! =) This Saturday is Dorney Park & Wildwater Kingdom!! Whoo hooo!!!! Can't wait to enjoy the water rides (and no I will not be going on any roller coasters you crazy people!). Next Saturday is white water rafting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay! That'll be my big celebration cuz by then everything SHOULD be ready =)

Until then, I shall have to exhaust myself! Pray for me please!

Great Day!

Today was a really great day! =)

Although, it didn't really start that way...I was very flustered and overwhelmed with wrapping up the plans for my Asia trip (21 days to go!!!). There were still some things that were not finalized. When was I going to spend time with all the people that I want to (Ate Doyet, Batangas, Bulacan, my cousins from Singapore, my cousins in Manila, my old elementary friends -- only through Facebook can you reconnect with anyone!). And all those people somehow in like 4 days?! I still had to figure out when exactly am I going to Cambodia (still need to buy my ticket). If I should do Cambodia first or go to family first. If I should stop by Singapore since the stopover is so long anyways on the way to Cambodia. If I was still going to Cambodia since I haven't heard back from the IT Dept of the Sihanouk HOPE Hospital. If I should continue to tour Philippines instead with my friends from US. There were so many options and I didn't know which way to go! It got so bad that I got a severe headache and had to go to the bathroom and pray! I prayed for God to make it clear where and what I should do and for Him to just take care of the details.

It still amazes me how God really does answer prayers (even if the answer is no!)! That afternoon I got an email from HOPE with the detailed itinerary of what we'd be doing during the HOPE Volunteer Corp. It turns out we'd still be able to see Taal, Tagaytay and Laguna during that week (the very same options that I had wanted to see with a group of friends before the Boracay option came up!). How great is that?! That takes out the option of if I should tour more of Philippines instead of going to Cambodia as I'd already be able to see what I wanted to see. So I've decided to be patient with the hospital and start looking into when I can go to Cambodia.

Later on that night I got an email from the IT Dept listing out the different ways I'd be able to serve while I'm in Cambodia! The encouraging thing was that I know the things that they actually need. I could actually be helpful to them! Well, I hope so anyways! =) So that's set! And I learned through the internet that if you have over 5 hour layover in Singapore, they'll let you tour the city for free for 2 hours and give you a ride from and to the airport, all for free! There's also tons to do at the Singapore airport from free massage to free movies, free games, free internet, free, free, free! They definitely spoke my language! Lol. So I started timing out different possibilities and see what would be the best schedule so that I can spend time with the family, see Singapore and serve in Cambodia....

On another great note, I also decided to buy a new camera today. My old camera is still really good, but I figured I'm going to all these different places, and I want to make sure that I'll have pictures to capture all that and I want to make sure they're good! =) It's time for a new one anyways. My Canon A720IS has treated me well these last 4-5 years and I'm sure my new Canon SD1400IS will last me a long time as well!! It has HD video also and is ultra compact and intelligent! I can't wait to see what it'll do!

All in all, a really great day. =)

What the Cross means to me...

For yesterday's service, I was asked to share what the Cross means to me to add to a brother's message for communion. It was a great privilege! I have to tell you the truth though I was very nervous. I always seem to tremble when I'm speaking in front of people! But I remember praying to God and for me to be able to share from my heart boldly. And He blessed it! As I stood there and started sharing my story, I was in awe and gratitude of what God has done in my life. Here's what I was able to share, with a little bit more extra as I'm not in a time constraint in a blog =P

I've been a Christian for 5 years.

Before I became a Christian, people would describe me as having a "perfect" life...I went to a great college, had a great family, was offered a full time position at one of the top investment banking firms in NYC while I was still in my senior year. I had it good, or so most people would think. But to me, and God, I didn't have a "perfect" life. I had a double life...an empty life. I went after work, relationships, alcohol, clubbing -- thinking these would satisfy me, would fill up the emptiness that I was feeling inside....But they didn't. Instead they left me feeling more empty...more dissatisfied...more alone...more hopeless.

So to me what the Cross means is a new life, a life to the full with God. The Cross means having JESUS be more than enough for me, and not looking for satisfaction in relationships or alcohol or working myself to death. It means having a transparent life, free from guilt of deceit or needing approval from people. It means truly enjoying life to the full: seeing the change that God can do in my life, being able to travel and serve, going to retreats and meeting other Christians from all over the world and seeing the miracles that God has done in their lives also.

In John 10:10, the Bible reads: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

I'm so grateful for the Cross and for Jesus giving me the opportunity to have a life to the full with Him!

DC Singles Retreat

So....it's been awhile since I've blogged....this is harder than I thought =)

Let's see...where to start?!...Last weekend, I went to DC for the Singles Retreat there ("Eternal Flame") for July 4th. It was a wonderful experience. There were Christians from NYC, Florida, Utah, Boston, St. Louis, Cleveland, Richmond, NoVA, Montgomery and of course DC. There were probably others from other places but these were the people I got to meet and hang with!

The weekend started with a hungry bus ride! It was Friday, July 2nd and I was counting down the hours til I leave work for the 1:45pm Chinatown bus to DC. I needed to leave early to make the bus so I thought I'd get lunch on the way to the bus....of course that didn't account for the subway taking its time, so I got to the bus just in time. There was a hot dog stand 20ft away but Yahaira wasn't feeling too adventurous! =)

So unfortunately that meant a good 5 hour drive with nothing in my stomach except....hmmm, can't remember (this is what I get for taking so long to write! lol). Well I think I at least had some sort of breakfast, ah yes I remember, BEC (bacon/egg/cheese on a roll). Yahaira and I talked for like 2 hours, trying to forget that we're both starving! After awhile, I bored Yahaira to death and she fell asleep =) I, on the other hand, was trying to hear the Ghana vs Uruguay game which this guy had on his laptop (too bad I missed watching the penalty kicks, those are the good stuff!). Eventually we arrived and went straight for food!

We took the Red line to Dupont Circle and walked to hotel and got in just in time for some great singing and haven't missed any of the message! (K to be continued later cuz it's 130am and I got work tomorrow! =P)

The Momentum

So for all of January to pretty much beginning of May, I didn't know what was going to happen. I kept looking for signs to see if God's answer has come:

-I was extended until the end of July with the possibility of even longer later on. -- Oh, guess God doesn't want me to do it...
-Or you can also take it as, Oh, guess God wants me to do it cuz He's giving me more money!

-I was rejected from the Russia volunteer grant in February. -- Well that one was a clear no to me.

-I registered for the ISC in Manila in March. --That was always a yes from God. =)

-Advices, encouragements, opinions, warnings and concerns from family and friends that flipped me back and forth over and over again.

What to do?! So I kept praying and fasting and waiting...

The greatest thing about going through the hump, is what happens afterwards! (if you go THROUGH it, and not back from it!) Have you ever driven over a hill? It takes more power to climb it but once you're over it you find yourself going faster, gathering up momentum! Well that's what happened to me...after awhile, the dream just started to fall in place...

-In May, I was accepted to the volunteering with HOPE Philippines.
-By then the circumstances were also a little bit better and the focus was more on what would be better for me spiritually than the circumstances. So I decided to go for the Steps of Apostles cruise.
-Just when I was ready to give up on finding a travel buddy for my Europe trip, God sent me someone that wanted to travel to the same places and vacations the same way as me (which is a go, go, go. See, see, see attitude).
-I went to Dominican Republic for vacation and found out my Spanish was in better shape than I thought! I was invited/challenged/called/etc to come back to help with the missions planting in Romana, DR.
-I went to the HOPE Summit service in May and met a doctor from the Sihanouk Hospital Center for HOPE (a free hospital in Cambodia that attends to the medical services of the poor and needy in Cambodia). I decided to apply to volunteer there and I got an acceptance from them this past June.

It's pretty exciting. You can clearly tell when God's hand is on a specific situation...things just happen....not because you forced it to happen, but just because....

So here I am now, finalizing the details for the path that God wanted me to take. And enjoying this life to the full with God! =)

The Hump

I was so excited! So sure that this was God's plan for me....The plan was great! I was going to be traveling for 9 to 12 months and then I would just start looking for a job again when I got back...But then doubt started to creep in: "Is this what God wants out of me or is this what I want?" Am I manipulating my way to look like God's way?

Once that doubt starts to set it, it's fed immediately by worry:
-Can I really do this?
-How will I afford all this?
-Will I be safe?
-Is this a wise thing to do?
-Will I find a job in this current economy?

Doubt is the biggest hump to any dream. It can stop you, delay you or send you reeling backwards. It makes you lose God's perspective and eats at your faith to only show the impossibility of the situation.

In January 2010, here's what happened to my dreams because of doubt:
-I felt like I didn't "qualify" to be an intern with the church so I didn't pursue it.
-Because of the circumstances then, I didn't feel like I would be able to truly enjoy the Steps of Apostles cruise. And of course, that would cut the Europe trip also.
-I was rejected from the volunteer grant to Russia. =(
-Counting the cost, I saw that there was no way I would be able to go traveling for a year without a job.

My dream seemed to be dwindling away, as was my spirit to fight for it...And so I did what I could only think of.....I gave it up....to God.

I fasted and asked God to clearly show me which way He wants me to go, and which ways He doesn't want me to go, in the upcoming 6 months (my contract turned out to be until June, not April, thus the 6 months). And I waited...to see what God answered....

The Evolution of a Dream

I guess the idea started on October 11, 2009...I was talking to this brother and he told me how he traveled the world in 3 months! He visited Russia, China, Egypt and all these other places. He came and went as he pleased and he was free of all responsibilities except enjoying the moment. I remember thinking, "Wow, I'd love to do that." In fact, I probably said it, feeling it would be a long time before I could do something like that, if at all! Little did I know that that conversation was a planting of the seed....

In November 5, 2009, everyone in the Bible Talk had each compiled a Bucket List as part of our discussion activity. The exercise helped me focus some of the things that I REALLY want to do during my lifetime and most of it included traveling. Looking at the list, I started to brainstorm how I could tackle it one at a time and the seed was watered...

Sometime in end of November/beginning of December, it kind of all clicked. I knew that my consulting contract would end in April and I kept looking at this list and thought "Why don't I take a few months off?!" The idea sounded insane but I knew it was possible, after all I already knew one person who did it! So the idea sprouted and I decided 2010 would be the year for my Bucket List!

Being an organized (aka anal =P) person, I started to create an itinerary of what I'd want to do. The possibilities circulated in my head:

                  "I'd love to intern with the church for at least the summer"
         "I should join the Steps of Apostles cruise"
                   "Maybe I could volunteer in Russia and learn the language!"
       "I'm already going to Rome for the cruise...I should see Europe too!"

And of course, going to Philippines for the International Singles Conference and volunteering with HOPE Philippines was a definite for me already!

I wanted to do everything! I was in a high...I applied to volunteer grants, started researching on the sights I would see, the things I would do, the food I'll get to eat, the churches I'll be able to visit...."It's gonna be incredible", I said to myself.....So will it?!

[And today's birthday shout out is to.....Theresa and Mia!! Happy birthday!]

So why a blog?

"I sometimes hold it half a sin,
To put in words the grief I feel.
For words, like Nature, half reveal,
And half conceal the soul within."
-Tennyson, In Memoriam

If you know me well enough, you'd know that I hate writing journals. In my possession are numerous unfinished journals with sporadic entries...So I've definitely put some serious effort into it...and failed! But I hate writing! I've hated it as far back as middle school! Not because I don't know what to say, or it's hard to find the time, or I don't find it helpful, no....I've written my share (very small share!) of poems and stories and pages of raw journal entries. In fact, I've found that writing helps me clear my system of thoughts and emotions and gives me back my sanity! But see, for me, a journal (a successful, consistent one anyways) shows the history of a person, the whole of a person, if you will (or at least what they've decided to reveal). And that has always been an intimidating thought for me....

So why a blog? Well it's entirely because of this adventure I'll embark on 5 weeks from now. For 3 months, I'll be traveling to different countries in Asia to the Caribbean to Europe to Africa to the Middle East. Sounds exciting, right?! Well if it doesn't to you, it most definitely does to me!! So...for me to remember this wonderful voyage and to keep my family and friends in the loop of the things going on with me even though I may be in the whole other side of the world, I've decided to write this blog.....After all, I hate having to repeat myself, so having my stories and experiences in this blog ought to minimize people asking me the same things over and over. =D

So please bear with me as I find my writer's voice and try to reveal myself to you (whoever YOU may be!) through this blog! Let's hope and pray I will be consistent with this blog and see it all the way through! =)

Oh and a Happy Birthday to Mhinnie today! =D

So....until August gets here, why don't we start with some flashbacks.....